Flying is always an excruciating experience for me. There is nothing that rocks my equilbrium more (that's the drama queen in me speaking) and I wonder why Lois Lane acts so enthralled whenever Superman takes her for a ride.

     It doesn't help that I have to go wee-wee 3x in an hour. This little boy rams my bladder as if he were stamping on the mat of a dancing revolution arcade game.

     It doesn't help either that there was a man, probably 6 seats away, who was coughing his brain out 70% of the flight. It didn't sound muffled so I knew he wasn't covering his mouth. The Bordetella Pertussis bacteria and H1N1 virus in the air were having a party.

     And then there was my seatmate on the right, a young male wearing hiphop clothes who was encroaching on my personal space and rubbing the skin of my virgin elbow. Ewwww. Did I mention his dandruff? Double ewww. 

     Of course there's my seatmate on the left, the handsome dude of my wildest dreams who ignored me while I stewed. I would have fondled him under the jacket if I weren't nauseous. So I tried to tell him that I was nauseous, but he just looked at me blankly from beneath his eyelashes and snored away. It's funny how he doesn't snore at home but makes guttural sounds when his nose is congested on the plane. 

     And who could forget the baby who screamed her lungs out from behind me and sent reverberating waves into the pinna of my ear, down my tympanic membrane and banged my ossicles like cymbals? That was unbearable, made worse because it went on without let-up for hours. I love babies especially if they're my nephews and nieces, godchildren, and friends' kids ... but children who cry nonstop like they are about to be slaughtered without their parents lifting an eyebrow to control them annoys me.

     Thank God we're now in Pinehurst, safely ensconced under the covers of the bed in Residencia Inn. We set out exploring yesterday and had lunch in this quaint cafe.  


    The paintings on the wall were for sale.
 

     The lobster bisque was yummy.


      These are reasons why I still pack my bags, go through TSA, ride on airplanes and temporarily forget that I hate to fly. 

     I know ... call me masochistic.  

mood: awake tags: brandon warrick, flying

     We were boarding our flight to Charlotte, NC when ... *gasp*!


     ... some chick had the same laptop bag that I got. Oh, the horror! 

     Then my super-ego takes control of my inner dormant b***ch and tells her to get over it ... *flips fabulous hair*.

mood: bitchy tags: random thoughts

     The Steve McNair story of philandering gone awfully wrong has unravelled --- the famous NFL star, the clandestine affair, the unsuspecting wife, the woman scorned ...   


     A few hours ago over dinner consisting of breaded pork chops and chop suey ...

     ME: (mood: SOMBRE) "Honey, if you ever have an affair ..."

     HUSBAND: (mood: PERPLEXED) "Now why will I have an affair?"

     ME: (mood: DEADPAN) "... make sure that she's pretty. Ya know ... just in case it reaches the papers. That way, I wouldn't feel so insulted."  

     HUSBAND: (mood: PERCEPTIVE) "Oh. Like Hillary Clinton was insulted with Monica Lewinsky."

     ME: (mood: AMUSED) "Right on."

mood: silly tags: husbandry, marriage

     Do you really, really want to know ...


     ... the HORRIBLE fate that befell Spiderman?!?

mood: sleepy tags: cash

     A week or so ago, I bought myself a new "toy". 


     I set it up in the living room with the intent of figuring out the instruction manual that came with it.

     Several days and a headache later, it's still sitting on the coffee table unused. Who knew that putting on thread in a sewing machine can be so complicated? Some wise man once said, "Life is hard. It's even harder when you're stupid."

     Well ... AT LEAST I read the directions even if I can't follow them.

mood: crushed tags: sewing

     I was discharging a patient today. She had been ready to go home days ago but her discharge was postponed because we wanted to make sure that she gets outpatient IV antibiotic for her infected foot as well as follow-up in the Wound Care clinic. 

     The social worker arranged everything for her. She didn't have to lift a finger. 

     ME: "How are you feeling?"

     PATIENT: "I'm good."

     ME: "Awesome. I'm sending you home today."

     PATIENT: "Today?!? But my house doesn't have airconditioning."

     ME: "And the significance of that to me is ....????"

     Nah. I didn't really say that last line although it took every ounce of the willpower that I normally reserve for restraining myself from eating that tenth piece of chocolate. The gall! Some people suffer from self-entitlement. 

     ME: "I'm sorry to hear that."

     And then I got her papers going faster than she could break out a sweat from lifting her butt off the bed.

mood: sleepy tags: medicine

     Forget that Roger Federer made history by winning his 15th major title when he beat Andy Roddick.


     What caught my attention while watching him during Wimbledon was his wife's ginormous blings --- there's the engagement solitaire, studded wedding band, encrusted Rolex, and rock earrings.

     I'm not a fan of wearing too many razzle-dazzle all at once but she can afford it, so let her be.

     Besides, it's probably a ruse to blind Roddick. 

mood: sleepy tags: roger federer, wimbledon

     When I got married, I decided to keep using my maiden name in order to avoid confusion with the medical records. I use my husband's last name only for legal and financial transactions.  

     I have a running joke in the hospital. Whenever people ask me why I didn't adopt my husband's last name, my standard reply was: "So if I get married again, I don't have to keep changing it."

    Now that I'm pregnant, the questions I get asked most frequently are the baby's sex (it's a boy) and if we have decided on a name. I have often referred to this little kickboxer as "Cougar". I still do. Husband has not agreed to it but offers no other alternative.

    One day, my colleague suggested that we should name our son "Drew Jr." True to form, I answered: "What?!? What if I get divorced? That'll be a constant reminder of my mistake for the rest of my life." 

     It's a good thing my husband is a good sport. He just took my joke in stride after he threatened to squeeze my ...

     OWWW!*&#@!!!

mood: hungry tags: cougar, husbandry